We are living day by day right now. It simply takes us half a day to meet necessary needs like water, solar and fuel for both ourselves and the generator. I definitely took many things for granted in my fifty years. Electricity, a hot shower, running water. Those things seem like a lifetime ago!
But I do think that as a person, because of those luxuries, I didn’t notice or appreciate other things. Like how wildlife is different in each part of the earth. I don’t know what kinds of birds I’m looking at here. I don’t know about the weather patterns. It’s like I’m a stranger on my own earth right now. But this is where we call home. It’s such a confusing time.
Right now, as we await word on paperwork that allows us to stay in this beautiful country, we keep going. We keep trying to make progress each week. I’ve been looking for extra writing assignments and work to keep progression going. But thru it all, I’m still very grateful. Because no matter what we have or what we don’t have right now, I’ve answered my own question on if there is something more. Was all of this worth the work? Am I less than because I don’t have a big TV or fancy clothes or a completely fixed house? Or are we all the same underneath it all? And more importantly, do we like who we are underneath it all?
I don’t like who I became over the years. Guilt, resentment, unworthiness, lack and depression were just part of me. Part of my personality. And I’m trying to change my inner dialogue to reflect who I want to be. Is it hard physically now? Yes it is. Sometimes I don’t know if I can do it. But I tell myself now I will. And I can.
Is there something more to life? I think I still have yet to find out. But I’m starting to scratch the surface.
-Rachael
This blog and our content are absolutely our pleasure and remain free. But if you’d like to contribute any amount to tools, supplies, and essentials, we appreciate your support.
Venmo: travelingdogs2
Comments